Category: Family

Social isolation as you get older…say it ain’t so!

~ epiphanu ~ Leave a comment

With Covid, there is a lot of talk about social isolation in the US and how it can lead to or is leading to many mental health issues. But let us take a step back and think about seniors aka people over 65. According to US census data, 1 in 3 seniors live alone. These seniors are isolated whether there is Covid or not. That is not to say that they do not see or interact with someone during the day but I am willing to bet they are typically not high quality interactions. Now, that made me think of my childhood…let us take a walk down my memory lane.

As a child growing up in India, we lived in a “joint family” where I lived with 5 other kids (2 siblings and 3 cousins), my parents, my uncle and aunt, my grandfather, one live-in cook (more like a family to us) – that is about 11 people. It does not stop there. My dad and uncle ran a business and so we had an attached office which had about 5 full time employees and many many people coming and going everyday. I can only imagine how lucky my grandfather was to have so many of his family so close by. If anything, he probably wanted some privacy now and then.

He would hang out with us when we played in the yard, be the umpire during our cricket games, teach us yoga, urge us to do daredevil stunts (resulting in a skinned knee every now and then), and regaled us with stories about the olden days. My dad and uncle would always spend time speaking with him about any topic he wanted in the evening. My mom and aunt took care of him as their own making sure everything was done to his liking.

There was never a day when we was bored, alone, or felt unwanted. To add to this, his daughter (my aunt) visited often, many of our relatives visited us and spent hours speaking with him. And everyday when I came back from school in the evening, I would see a circle of my granddad’s friends having coffee and snacks and chatting. My grandfather was in his element during these visits and was the star of the show. He lived a full life.

Which brings me to a question I have been mulling over in my head…what is the solution to the social isolation problem for seniors? How can we ensure that they feel wanted and have high quality interactions? I am not saying everyone should live in a joint family which has its own pros and cons. What do you think?

Cleaning is cathartic

~ epiphanu ~ Leave a comment

Given our big move from C to B, we are in full on cleaning mode. This past weekend, we gave away 10 bags of stuff – toys, shoes, jackets, and clothes in good condition. We also threw away stuff we do not need. And we sold some furniture we do not need anymore. I feel a huge sense of relief seeing less full closets and much emptier rooms. Cleaning is cathartic.

We also explained to M that we do not need to hoard toys that we no longer use. It will be so much better to give toys to other kids that want them but do not have them. She seemed eager to do that which is a good sign!

But this whole process begs the question, where did all this stuff come from? Note to self is to pause and think if we really need something before we buy it..easily said:-)

Hah..how quickly we have settled into a new normal

~ epiphanu ~ Leave a comment

It has been a four-year hiatus from my blog. I have no excuse except good old procrastination. A lot has happened in the last 4 years since M was born..or should I say M1 was born! That is right – we now have our own M & m in the family and it feels just right. The story of m’s arrival is one for the ages and is the topic of this post.

Sunday, Feb 1, 2015 was the super bowl and it snowed a lot in Chicago. So, we were all asked to work from home on Monday. During the day, I asked K to shovel the snow outside our garage (in the alley) since I was due any day. K kept saying he will but never got around to it. Around 4 am on February 3rd, 2015, I started feeling the familiar cramps and a slowly escalating pain. BY 5:30 am I knew that it was time to go to the hospital. I asked K to bring our shiny new minivan (warrants another blog post) to the front so that I do not slip on the ice en route to the detached garage. 15 minutes went by and no call from K. I called him and he said he was stuck in the alley due to the snow! I was livid and my FIL S was even more livid. I told him we are taking a uber since I did not want to deliver at home:) So, K had to leave the minivan in the alley and join me for our uber ride to Prentice.

The usual process was followed at Prentice. As usual, the pain stopped after we reached the hospital and I was all prepped for the delivery. But mid-morning, the pain started again and m was delivered in a matter of 15 minutes. She also had a full head of hair, was red, and absolutely beautiful. She was so much like M but also different, physically and temperamentally. She still is like that.

I never thought that I could love anyone as much as I loved M but m was born to prove to me that I can love both M & m equally. The last year has been exhausting but exhilarating. It is a good life!